Friday, May 18, 2007

dilemma.

so i always put truth above pride... and paradoxically ive made that part of my pride. is there anything wrong with that? i wont explain how, but that question is all wrapped up in a little dilemma i have.

so im torn between being the ascetic and disconnected wise ovserver, accepting idiocy and ignorance and hanging out by myself on mountain tops, completely objectively observing and not personally attached to anything, good or evil. (but that begs the question... what would be my motivation for even feeding myself?)

or... the other option... sitting on rooftops in iraq or palestine or afghanistan or sri lanka or darfur or mogadishu with an ak, unable to bear the idea of letting my fellow man fall to the slaughter of tyrants that have forsaken truth. defending each life as though it were my own... identifying and trying to make value judgements on the various factions and actors and personally attaching myself to greater causes and all that shit.

yeh... answer or not, i dont care. im probably just going to spend my life sitting in my room next to all my books and masturbate to free porn either way.

(uncontrollable sobbing.)

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