Monday, February 27, 2006


lenin is FUCKING INSANE. so in case you dont already know the stories... my cat does whatever the fuck he wants whenever the fuck he wants.

i had him when he was born in northern virginia. when he was a kitten, he used to like to get in the car with me and sit in the passenger seat... i brought him with me to school in cville last year... so ever since he was about 2 months old, hes been living the college life. (learnin and shit.)

last year at 227 14th, i always left the window cracked so he went in and out whenever he wanted. he pretty much always made a point of being home around 1 or 2 when wed go to bed together and cuddle. (im not gay, youre gay.) if he wasnt home, i would go outside and whistle for him and if he was within hearing range, hed come running. hes really social and pretty muchhh makes friends with everybodies. last year when james and alex were my neighbors, he would follow me over to their houses and sometimes hed go over there to say hello while i was in classes. he got a girlfriend across the street at 214 14th, and made love with her often. one time he got in a fight and cut his leg. i took him to the vet and gave him meddicines. that cats probably deader than dead now. lenin owns the streets and lenins friends probably killed that cat or whatever the hell it was. lenin used to go to parties and stuff too... like i think maybe it was james? but yeh... someone was showing me pictures of lenin at a party somewhere id never been with people i didnt know some weekend when i had gone to nova.

anyway yeh... so this year, my house doesnt allow pets, but i gave some trial periodness to see if i could cheat... but in that trial period, lenin made super good friends with his neice, little che. she was a tiny tiny like... one month old kitten whos siblings didnt make it, so she was all alone. after she was old enough, my parents gave her mom away (grrr.) and she followed lenin EVERYWHERE. they were pretty much inseperable. lenin adopted her and trained her in ideology and guerilla tactics and stuff and she became his protege... after that... i didnt want to take lenin away again so i left him in nova since like august.

so yeh... lenin. whackiest most interestingest cat ever. ive conjured up a million plans to figure out what the hell his life is like... cuz yeh... he spends his time doing cool shit like fighting wars (and winning... with my support anyway), screwin hos (though ive heard hes a gentle lover), going to parties (that i dont even know about), and raising little che.

in cville, i always kept his collar on him with my phone number in case he got into too much trouble. in nova though, theres not much to get in trouble with and stuff... so no collar. in nova, i wasnt there so he would wander for a couple days at a time and come back. early novemeber though, he stopped coming back. typically, che would go with him... and used to disappear for a couple days at a time as well. che probably knew where lenin was and visited him. but yeh. THREE MONTHS of no lenin. so anyway... this weekend, i went to nova to pick up jen and hung out there thursday night. my dad says that he thought he saw lenin looking around friday night, after i had left. so then he disappeared again for a couple days. then i dropped jen off in nova and helped my parents move some stuff and while im loading stuff in the cars, guess who comes running up to me? LENIN. motherfucker.

that cat is fucking nuts. WHERE THE HELL HAS HE BEEN FOR THE PASST THRREEE MONTHS?! wtf and a half. dude. yeh. i mean he does crazy shit daily ive never fully figured out, but this... this is absolutely insane. how did he happen to come back twice when i was around? did he know i was there? did he know we were moving? cuz if he hadnt showed up, were finishing moving in like a week. has he been with people? other cats? has che been with him? did che know where he was? anyway yeh. im trying to teach him english so he can tell me all this stuff... but its not working. god lenin is so fucking crazy. fighting, fathering, partying, and this. coolest slash wierdest cat ever.



Wednesday, February 15, 2006


hey so 2 sweetass shows in cville soon... wendsday march 1, of montreal, and then saturday march 4, mogwai. both at the satellite ballroom which is literally my neighborrr. so yeh, theres quite a contigent of outta towners coming for mogwai already so i think its a de facto afterparty at my house. kegs and dancing and such. let me know if you can come.

oh and hey! saturday, march 25th my roomates putting together basically a uva indie fest. that should be pretty awesome too. ok im going to go eat some bread and butter. ttyl! (what the hell?)


Monday, February 6, 2006



THE hell...

whatever. i cant believe muslims talk about makeup. total fags. i on the other hand have never even heard of maybelline. i dont even know what makeup is. THATS how straight i am.

word son... word.


Thursday, February 2, 2006


here is the text of all the crap i wrote in 2002 using a bunch of random predictions. i can show you the date the file was made and stuff if youd like... but hopefully you just believe me. i honestly think its kind of silly but whatever... lets see what becomes of all this.

nuke in jeruselem september 13 2006 (from libyan artillery on pisgah mountains?) leads to ww3
death of prime minister (israeli? sharon? leads to netenyahu?) leads to ww3

ww3 invasion from syria by combined armies (arabs? persians?)
retaliation from air base at mount megiddo or harmegiddo (by combined armies?) (by missile?) (isael and west?)

earthquake l.a. 2010
earthquake china 2006
earthquake japan 2006 (leads to economic collapse)

comet scare 2012

volcano in yellowstone?


Wednesday, February 1, 2006


wowww i havent blogged in awhile... im a little bit nervous so be gentle. (ha. last time i said that... well... no, nevermind...)

ok heres my life. classes started a couple weeks ago but i think ive been to a total of... maybe 15 out of 30? ouch. wow i suck. of course the instead might actually sort of be worth it. especially now that i found out i actually dont need to take some of the ones ive been skipping the most and so bam! dropped. and then wow. what a past few weekends.

theyve sorta blended together into a big ball of creampuff, but it goes a little something like this. ny the first weekend... and wow... yeh i totally wanna go back. like right now... grmph. awesomest friends ever, lots of yummy restaurants, lots of bars, the moma, trump tower, world conquering plans, sweetass apartment, cute dog, creampuffs, meeting people, anddd did i mention awesomest friends ever?

i think the ride back was the funniest car ride of my life... so when i went to get my ticket for the new jersey turnpike, the toll booth guy held it out and i reache out to grab it and physically grabbed the wrong space. of course who the hell expects anyone to do that? so upon me grasping, the guy let go of the ticket and i made a funny noise out of surprise. the ticket literally floated in mid air for a full 3 or 4 seconds upon which me and the toll booth guy made eye contact and i think i saw felt his soul or something. then as we lovingly looked into eachothers eyes, with my arm extended and my hand clenched in the wrong place, this gentle breeze came and blew the ticket into my window. then the guy, who was really wide eyed and surprised in sort of a gentle tone of disbelief whispers "you got it..." and i nodded yes without braking eye contact and then drove away. i think i may have fallen in love with a toll booth guy...

ok so yeh... also on the way back we were pulling away from a rest stop and sam put his nintendo ds on the dashboard. i turned in the parking lot and the ds fell and hit me right were that knee jerk thing is so i involuntarily kicked up and hit the steering wheel and the car flung left and the windshield wipers and the signal turned on and everyone started screaming so i slammed on the brakes and honked the horn and stalled. oh and i totally drove for 6 hours the whole way from ny to cville and went to my classes the next morning. woah. and sam stayed up with me the wholleee time so i kind of love him a litte bit. ok a lot bit. (faggot.)

heres a couple cool quotes.

sam: yeh... i would totally forgive someone for cheating. i mean i could definetly see myself accidentally having sex.
me: what? how do you accidentally have sex?
sam: i dunno... like if i thought i was falling into a warm piece of bread or something...

reina: yo dude, theres straight up shrimp in that piece.

speaking of new york... i haad a weirddd dream the other night that i was sort of on the same trip except i started going to a school there that was run by disney and i took a class called madonna and pop culture that was actually a front for a class about guns. weird... there was lots of other weird stuff but that i think is the strangest.

then last weekend was pretty ridiculous too. weather was awesome the whole time so yeh... thursday i played tennis with andre and paul... i was pretty miserable about hamas and the elections sooo later i went to bars after with dre and libby and sam and adrienne... i ended up drunk from free drinks from micheals bistro and passed out on my floor wearing my fatah kaffiyeh in a pile of trash (from knocking my trashcan over) with propaghandi - hallie sallasse, up your ass playing and with hooka all over me. apparantly at some point in the night... i had noticed the hooka hose and wanted hooka so i pulled it really hard and pulled the hooka onto my head from the desk. i broke it. if i ever conquer the world and write an autobiography im pretty sure ill write that it was at that moment i realized i was the chosen one. (chosen to be a complete idiot and fail miserably at everything.)

anyway yeh... then friday... woke uppp and got bagels with dre and libby, played tennis again, went to two parties, had a dance party at my house. pretty sweeet. oh and i wet myself in front of everyone. how embarassing!

thennn... saturday woke up to people grilling, got bagels with dre and libby, played soccer with paul and some kids, then played tennis again, then came home to like 10 people hanging out and still grilling... changed and went to johns birthday dinner, then on the way back we realized that between the grilling and everyone at dinner we had lik 25 people... so we got a keg on the way back and completely randomly had an impromptu party.

sunday... bagels again and more tennis... and my parents came and took me andre out to fancy dinner. yum.

sooooo yeh. basically im a tennis playing alcoholic who is into middle east politics and dancing and fine dining... but then again, who isnt? (oh wait... everybody.)

i just dropped a bunch of classes today so im takinggg... modern political theory, liberalism and its critics, international relations of the middle east, and economic development. oh and yeh... it turns out ive accidentally made it so i can graduate this summer... i dont want to though... ill figure something out. maybe a third major? i dont even think thats allowed... fuck...

hey so how awesome is the internet? tonight i was simultaneously listening to music, downloading songs, wikipedia-ing the roman empire and the history of the middle east, howstuffworks-ing and talking to parker about screenprinting, talking to noel about the trade defecit with china and the currency implications, anddd wetting my pants. can YOU do that? well actually yes you can... thanks to the internet. call the 1800 number on the bottom of your screen and order today. but WAIT. if you call now, we will even suck your cock... you fucking faggot.

what? ok sorry. yeh so this is already way too long and i have a 9am class tomorrow so im screwed...

heres my plans for the next little while. im going to nova friday to see 36mafia (woah) and coming back here for party on saaturday. thennn next weekend sahar comes thrusday for nada surf and then friday i really realllllly wanna go to ny again... wow... oh man... life... wow... <3