Monday, July 2, 2007



its over. cville is all gone! before i get drunk off this last little bit, i just want to spend some time with you and remember. i have no idea what ive learned, but i know "its something". i cant explain it... but i feel it all.

so heres a tribute to all of it. heres to human flaws! heres to seeing them. heres to weaknesses! heres to knowing them. heres to car wrecks and murders and disease! heres to avoiding them. and heres to the friends that didnt.

heres to the fragility of one life, and the endurance of many.

all the promises i made. im still good for them. heres to keeping contracts. heres to honor and pride and making shame an ongoing joke.

heres to abrogating treaty. heres to seperateness and navigating the maze of differences that leave us at an utter loss for understanding eachother. heres to not understanding eachother. heres to not understanding.

heres to giving up. heres to giving in. heres to liking it.

heres to arbitrary direction in life, because you know that even when you forgot who you were, you were still yourself. and the trees are still too old and wise to care. and the leaves are still pretty the next day, when you remember again.

heres to the constant rumbling of airplanes behind the trees. heres to the orphans that have become my family. heres to the children that see such wonders for the first time and dont understand them. heres to teaching them.

heres to the tyrants that will not love the truth of seperateness. heres to understanding and respecting them as your fellow man, but keeping the blade on their necks. heres to eternal vigilance, so that we may teach our children in peace.

heres to the graves weve long since paved over. heres to those that died for their fellow man. heres to the immutable truth that wins every time, but heres to the occasional failure that makes us smile. heres to the deaths of hundreds of millions and the birth of ten times more. heres to the bombs that destroy ten cities for every thousand we build.

heres to the cyclical nature of all things. heres to death and rebirth and learning with each cycle. heres to coming closer to the truth every time we die.

heres to my own death. heres to the kreb cycle and photosynthesis and atp and glucose and the life of each individual cell and the will that becomes more than the sum of its parts. heres to not understanding what makes me alive.

heres to endless progress and factories and cities and airplanes and healthy people. heres to blogs that get too long because im rambling and because i dont want to let go of each cycles beauty.

so onwards to the next cycle. ill do better this time. im not perfect, but i should try. the trees tell us so. the ones that dont are long gone.

heres to the illusion of a zero sum game, and harnessing the suns energy on giant floating platforms of solar panels that grow calorie rich crops as yet unheard of. heres to machines that will farm them while i sip unimaginably perfect lemonade and toy with my childrens genes.

heres to the endless struggle and the refugees and the camps and the loss and the airdrops and the devil on horseback and the taliban and zionism and hezbollah and the mahdi army and the basij.

heres to the hope of giving them all proper burials.

heres to the mistakes my fathers fathers father made and the people that took everything from him.

heres to the mistakes my fathers father made and the people that took everything from him.

heres to the mistakes my father made and the people that took everything from him.

heres to the mistakes i will make and the knowledge that no one can ever take everything from anyone. heres to that immutable justice.

heres to the mistakes my children will make.

heres to the mistakes my childrens children will make.

heres to the mistakes my childrens childrens children will make.

heres to their struggles, and their heartache.

heres to the meager 3 years i spent in the school jefferson built for me to eat that heartache and hate the world and learn to love it all in the end anyway.


heres to my love for you.

i love you.


yes, you!


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