cars and bullets.

heres to car wrecks and murders and disease! heres to avoiding them. and heres to the friends that didnt.

...

walking the streets of la, i remember the story he told me about when he was in south africa...

he and a friend with a car were driving through johannesburg when at a stop, a gang of armed kids walked in front of the car and told them to get out. so they got out of the car and walked to the side of the street. the kids turned to get in the car and just then another group of gun toting south africans point their guns at the car, claiming it for themselves. someone starts letting off shots.

they hit the ground until a lady in a house nearby called to them to run in. as they were running, his friend fell. he turned around and grabbed his friend and they both got in the house. the lady looks at him and starts screaming. he looks down and their is blood all over his chest. he pulls up his shirt, trying to figure out where hed been hit. they start frantically looking for the bullet hole.

a richochet had cut him and his friend was hit in the leg, and he got blood on him while carrying his friend.

but he was fine.

...

so heres to the cyclical nature of all things. heres to death and rebirth and learning with each cycle. heres to coming closer to the truth every time we die.

...

heres to you...

ارام

and the name we shared...

عادل

...

heres to the fragility of one life, and the endurance of many.

...

farewell and welcome noble ghost.

our ranks give tribute, our blades bear your name.

transitions.

transitions!

its over. cville is all gone! before i get drunk off this last little bit, i just want to spend some time with you and remember. i have no idea what ive learned, but i know "its something". i cant explain it... but i feel it all.

so heres a tribute to all of it. heres to human flaws! heres to seeing them. heres to weaknesses! heres to knowing them. heres to car wrecks and murders and disease! heres to avoiding them. and heres to the friends that didnt.

heres to the fragility of one life, and the endurance of many.

all the promises i made. im still good for them. heres to keeping contracts. heres to honor and pride and making shame an ongoing joke.

heres to abrogating treaty. heres to seperateness and navigating the maze of differences that leave us at an utter loss for understanding eachother. heres to not understanding eachother. heres to not understanding.

heres to giving up. heres to giving in. heres to liking it.

heres to arbitrary direction in life, because you know that even when you forgot who you were, you were still yourself. and the trees are still too old and wise to care. and the leaves are still pretty the next day, when you remember again.

heres to the constant rumbling of airplanes behind the trees. heres to the orphans that have become my family. heres to the children that see such wonders for the first time and dont understand them. heres to teaching them.

heres to the tyrants that will not love the truth of seperateness. heres to understanding and respecting them as your fellow man, but keeping the blade on their necks. heres to eternal vigilance, so that we may teach our children in peace.

heres to the graves weve long since paved over. heres to those that died for their fellow man. heres to the immutable truth that wins every time, but heres to the occasional failure that makes us smile. heres to the deaths of hundreds of millions and the birth of ten times more. heres to the bombs that destroy ten cities for every thousand we build.

heres to the cyclical nature of all things. heres to death and rebirth and learning with each cycle. heres to coming closer to the truth every time we die.

heres to my own death. heres to the kreb cycle and photosynthesis and atp and glucose and the life of each individual cell and the will that becomes more than the sum of its parts. heres to not understanding what makes me alive.

heres to endless progress and factories and cities and airplanes and healthy people. heres to blogs that get too long because im rambling and because i dont want to let go of each cycles beauty.

so onwards to the next cycle. ill do better this time. im not perfect, but i should try. the trees tell us so. the ones that dont are long gone.

heres to the illusion of a zero sum game, and harnessing the suns energy on giant floating platforms of solar panels that grow calorie rich crops as yet unheard of. heres to machines that will farm them while i sip unimaginably perfect lemonade and toy with my childrens genes.

heres to the endless struggle and the refugees and the camps and the loss and the airdrops and the devil on horseback and the taliban and zionism and hezbollah and the mahdi army and the basij.

heres to the hope of giving them all proper burials.

heres to the mistakes my fathers fathers father made and the people that took everything from him.

heres to the mistakes my fathers father made and the people that took everything from him.

heres to the mistakes my father made and the people that took everything from him.

heres to the mistakes i will make and the knowledge that no one can ever take everything from anyone. heres to that immutable justice.

heres to the mistakes my children will make.

heres to the mistakes my childrens children will make.

heres to the mistakes my childrens childrens children will make.

heres to their struggles, and their heartache.

heres to the meager 3 years i spent in the school jefferson built for me to eat that heartache and hate the world and learn to love it all in the end anyway.

...

heres to my love for you.

i love you.

...

yes, you!

8 Comments

hamas.

fuck.

fuckkkkkkkkkk.

fuck fuck fuck.

fuck!

i could write a few pages about all this... but ill just say this.

gaza is run by islamists. and israel has withdrawn.

the west bank is now split from islamist gaza and run by secularists. the new prime minister is a phd in econ from the university of texas and former world banker.

and the west bank is occupied and there are checkpoints everywhere and israel is still withholding the palestinian tariff money and it wont allow weapons to get to abu mazen and i hate everyone.

someday maybe a u.s. policy maker or two will tell israel to go fuck itself. until then, liberalism in palestine and the arab world and the middle east will be a casualty of zionism.

because as far as i can tell, islamism pays and moderation doesnt. and it seems israel is making sure of that. and u.s. policy makers are too cowardly to do anything about it.

fuck.

seriously... dont any policy makers in the u.s. realize zionism is irreconcilably contrary to liberalism? (does that sentence even make sense?) but still, the u.s. gives priority to zionism before aiding a secular government besieged by islamists. wtf?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070615/wl_nm/palestinians_funds_dc_3

ease sanctions?! why are there any sanctions?! you stupid fucks... the west bank under the new interim govt is a secular democratic government that recognizes israel and is run according to palestinian basic law with a bunch of phds running the government. and they are sanctioned and occupied and their tax revenues are withheld? wtf!

yet americans are confused when the arab street loses faith in liberalism and turns to islamism.

u.s. mid east policy has made a mockery of liberalism. its zionism parading around as liberalism. and if you defend zionism and say "this is liberalism", learn to expect people to tell you hypocrites defaming the name of liberty to go fuck yourselves.

so yeh... go fuck yourselves.

4 Comments

lebanon.

lebanon... every summer, another war. please do butcher fatah al-islam. theyre a cancer to palestinian liberation (can we get rid of hamas while were at it?)... so kill the islamists, but for plo/pete's sake, watch out for civilians! mortar shells are flying everywhere, some missing the camp entirely! so to the lebanese army, keep going, but a take a deep breath and aim! (and by aim i mean instant message me, id love to talk.)

but heres a better idea... the reason for the seemingly indiscriminate shelling is the 1969 cairo agreement between the plo and lebanon that says lebanon can not enter the palestinian refugee camps. that was back in the days of black september, when arafat was busy creating a state within a state and the biggest threat was the host governments themselves. fatah under abu mazn has enough power within the plo to overturn that if they want to.

times have changed and the greatest threat to the plo these days is islamism. hamas, fatah al-islam, and whatever other religious fucks want to hijack the palestinian cause for islamic tyrrany. so to the plo and abu mazn, stop deluding yourself into thinking this agreement gives you control over the camps. it just gives the upper hand to the least honorable fucks that will sneak in (aka syrian intelligence). let the lebanese army into the camps, and get whatever remains of the plo to help them slaughter the islamists. all of them.

siniora, use un chapter 7 to unilaterally set up the hariri court. and tell syria to go fuck itself whilst wasting their proxies. its like cutting their penis off, only more fun. hariris ghost will be watching.

ok im going to go make two pieces of toast and throw one out for hariri. actually three because im hungry and hariri cant eat toast anyway because he got murdered. fuckkkkk.

4 Comments

graduation.

so graduation was fun. i was definetly still a little sloppy from the night before and as i walked down i waved to random parents i didnt know and thanked them for coming to my party. and when we all go to our chairs i definetly stood up and yelled "i dont even go here!" at which point everyone fell dead silent and i heard some girl go "most akward comment of the day." and then someone was like "hey thats chris adell, he does go here!" and then everyone cheered. it was awesome.

4 Comments