Monday, February 28, 2005

mortal kombat.

why is it scary?

when one takes interest and is not only willing to listen when you open up, but desires that you do so and you do nothing, thoughts will drift to "why?" and all possible answers are diconcerting at best.

what better can the world expect when i leave my doors wide open and theirs have been sealed shut since a night off 95. if my doors are constantly wide open, but the rest of the world has multiple locks on multiple doors, how should i feel? and if therein lies the root of inequity, along with its natural corallaries, distrust and regret.

furthermore, i am what some may regard as an idealistic oddity. i refuse to lock my doors. but i am as rare as the locks are numerous...

if you build a gate, expect it to keep you in as much as it keeps others out. if you build a wall, your view from the inside cant be much better than the view from the outside. if you build a border, dont expect that the conditions can ever be seperate but equal.

barriers will lead to inequity. and inequity to distrust. and distrust to opportunism. and to stave off opportunism, you will need more barriers.

i thought it simple enough.

intrestingly, only two people have ever used opportunism to wrest anything of any real value from me... both own many locks. figuratively speaking, of course. and sometimes i wonder if both were a reaction to the threat of me locking them out, simultaneously vindicating and ensuring my action and thereby justifying their own...

i hate locks. i will swear them off forever for those that reciprocally have none for me. and the idea of locking such a person out is sometimes as uncomfortable as the threat of theft. especially when i have seen the reactions enumerated above.

and that was nothing more than a formal decleration of something that has always been true. and shall continue to be.

i have a couple locks. i would like to throw them away someday, but it is not really my choice... the theft has been so demonstrated as to be certain by reasonable judgment. but my judgement? i will always invite evidence to the contrary for my judgement has no lock.