Sunday, October 10, 2010

tide with citrus febreze.

so i just wrote this letter to tide:

Dear Tide,

So basically, I love Tide with Citrus Febreze. I think it got cut from the product line, but here's the thing: I really really love(d) Tide with Citrus Febreze. Is there any way I can get some?

I mean if you're not making it anymore but have some hiding in a plant somewhere, I'll buy a lifetime supply type amount in bulk. Will it keep for that long? Anyway, as I was saying, I will do almost anything to get some. I sometimes feel like the world is caving in on itself when I'm in the detergent aisle of the grocery store, and Tide with Citrus Febreze isn't there. It's like there's a hole in my heart where the laundry detergent should go in but none of the other brands fit.

I'm not normally weirdly obsessed with a brand. I think I'm actually a pretty smart dude. Not that smart people can't be obsessed with brands, but every once in awhile a product just hits that special little niche. In this case, my special little niche. Anyway, I'm smart. I just graduated with my MBA and I was thinking maybe I could get a job there managing that product line so that I could start making it again. Do you know who manages that department? I could talk to them and just let them know how I feel. I'd love to analyze the financial statements before and after. I could even draw up some pro formas that show we should reinstate the brand. Unless of course the analysis shows we shouldn't, in which case I'd need some extra time to Enron the numbers.

I could also dance for you. I'm smart, but I'm also a good dancer. Not that those things are necessarily mutually exclusive or anything, but you know... I'll dance for you. Or not you, but the person who manages that brand. I could dance for you too if you put me in touch, but then I might be too tired to dance once I get there.

Anyway, just some thoughts. Let me know what you think.



i'll be posting the response.

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